I can’t say I recall ever hearing anyone beg for a remake of Road House. The original 1989 film is both a product of the time it was made that can’t easily translate to the current day, and is still pretty much perfect for what it set out to be. The movie didn’t need a modern remake. Nevertheless, here we have one. That it’s not terrible, and is perhaps even reasonably fun, has got to be some sort of achievement.
Regardless, the new Road House is an unnecessary movie. Despite protestations from its director that the film was absolutely intended to be a major theatrical release, a streaming debut feels like exactly where it belongs. I doubt the movie will be remembered in a few months time, much less have a cult following decades down the road, as the original does.
| Title: | Road House |
| Year of Release: | 2024 |
| Director: | Doug Liman |
| Watched On: | Amazon Prime Video |
The new Road House follows the original in broad strokes, if not much in the specifics of plot. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a character named Dalton, as Patrick Swayze once did. However, rather than set the story in a bizarre world where nightclub bouncers could attain their own superstar status, this Dalton is a down-on-his-luck former UFC champion who got ousted from the sport and now makes cash in seedy bare-knuckle pit fighting matches. More accurately, he makes cash simply by showing up to the matches. His reputation alone is enough to scare off any competitor with brains left to recognize him, allowing Dalton to walk away with the prize money uncontested.
As before, this Dalton is recruited by the owner of a dive bar (Jessica Williams) to work as a bouncer and clean up the joint from troublemakers that have been scaring off the reputable customers. Once there, he finds time to flirt with a local doctor (Daniela Melchior), and winds up in conflict with a rich douchebag (Billy Magnussen) who brings in hired muscle to take him out. Those parts remain more or less the same.
On the other hand, the new picture updates its setting to the Florida Keys and gives the villain a different (though no less formulaic) motivation for messing with the bar. The remake has no analogue for Sam Elliott’s friend/mentor character, and instead turns over the last act of the story to a burly psycho henchman named Knox played by real UFC fighter Conor McGregor.
To align the film with modern sensibilities, the new Road House is less sleazy than the 1989 version and makes at least a token effort to give its female characters some trace of personality. Meanwhile, all the action portions have been amped up on steroids. Jake Gyllenhaal is positively jacked here, and takes every opportunity to tear off his shirt and show every muscle. His climactic fight with McGregor is downright brutal.
Unfortunately, the consequence of trying to make the film bigger and “fix” (yes, note the scare-quotes) some of the schlocky or intentionally dumb aspects of the original is that the remake loses a lot of the B-movie flavor and just winds up feeling blander in comparison. Director Doug Liman is a pretty talented filmmaker who’s made several super-fun and creative action movies including The Bourne Identity, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and Edge of Tomorrow, but – contrary to his public feud with the studio over its release – really feels like he was on autopilot with this one. While all of the fight and action scenes are competently staged, none of them are particularly inventive or exciting.
Gyllenhaal is largely successful at affecting the same note of laid-back charm and detached nonchalance that Patrick Swayze struck in the original. The movie also has some pretty amusing dialogue, though I doubt any of it will become as iconic as “Pain don’t hurt.” (The best line, “Who taught you shapes?”, is hilarious in context.)
Conor McGregor, however, should definitely not pursue an acting career beyond this. Considering that, 1) he’s not very good at it, and 2) he also appears to be a total shitbag of a human being in real life, his casting brings a real sour note to this entire project and makes me question Liman’s judgement for that decision.
Video Streaming
The Road House remake streams on Amazon Prime Video in 4K HDR. The 2.40:1 image is sharp enough, but didn’t really knock my socks off. Amazon’s streaming compression might have had something to do with that. Early scenes are pretty dark, yet shadow detail is more than sufficient. Once the story transitions to Florida, the imagery becomes considerably brighter and more colorful. Despite the over-the-top subject matter, HDR usage seemed surprisingly restrained on my home theater screen.
The movie’s soundtrack is only offered in basic Dolby 5.1 surround. I expected Atmos. In general, the track is loud and has a good amount of surround activity, but dialogue often sounds low in the mix, the score is weak, and dynamic range is underwhelming for an action movie. Again, I wouldn’t be surprised if this turned out to be a streaming compression issue. In the unlikely event the movie might be released on physical media in the future, I’d be interested to find out if it looked or sounded better there.
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